Xmas in February (not the Lou Reed kind)

Darlings. I am most unavoidably aware that I have been whatever-the-opposite-of-prolific-is for some time now. See, I have been refusing to post anything until I explained about Christmas, and the onslaught of craziness that preceded & ensued from this one little day. Which was a big day. But just one day in the scheme of things ... ohhhhh, the confusion!!!

Let me explain.

I had decided that, as my dear Dad was coming to visit from SA for the first time ever, I would put heart & soul into Christmas. It would be the Christmas that all other Christmases knelt before and wept at; the Christmas that lauded proudly over all the other little Christmases, patting them patronisingly on the head; the Christmas that would justify humanity's cruel replacement of all other yuletide festivals over the centuries with this one, single shindig.

In short: this Christmas was to kick ass.

{image source}

There would be handmade cards, tree decorations and advent calendars. Rob's family would come to our house for the day, and the whole feast would be made from scratch. Wine would flow, bellies would be full, the house would be aglow with the lights of a thousand fairies (or should I say the fairy lights would be aglow with the wattage of a thousand power plants? global warming be damned, it's my CHRISTMAS!! (see above, re: cruelty)). Most importantly, it would be a DIY event. Everyone would get a handmade present. Preferably only handmade presents.

Making Christmas decorations during conference calls ... 

To this end, I compiled this list (I'm editing out those not yet finished so that the giftees - who read this blog - aren't completely robbed of the element of surprise):

1. Mum-in-Law: framed family pics; monogrammed pyjamas; >incomplete<; novelty Xmas earrings
2. Dad-in-Law: framed family pics; DVD boxset*; gardening book*
3. Gramps-in-Law: brushed cotton shirts; monogrammed slippers; framed family pics
4. Sister-in-Law: framed family pics; clutch bag; Vogue 1170 dress; CD*
5. Nephew (4yo): Gruber monster from Mollie Makes; interactive world map*; atlas
6. My dad: monogrammed slippers; scanned family pics on USB stick; Dietz lantern; trip to Edinburgh; trip to west end; winter coat*; long johns* (tee hee); miscellaneous warm things for Northern Hemisphere winter
7. Lauren: >incomplete<; infinity scarf; slippers with stuffed bunnies; mezzaluna & chopping board*; infused olive oil
8. Rose: >incomplete<; dip-dyed t-shirt
9. Shelley & Marty: Beanbag; >incomplete<; infinity scarf
10. Willow (Lauren's ickle niece): dress
11. Matthew (Lauren's ickle nephew): coat
12. Andrew (Lauren's sister): >incomplete<, dip-dyed t-shirt

 *non-handmade presents, duh. As many of these would be thrifted/vintage as possible, with  some exceptions. Like long johns. That would just be weird, a la: 'Hi Dad, thanks for coming thousands of miles to visit us -- here is someone else's used underwear. Merry Christmas'

WOW. Even typing up that list took ages.

How did I do, do you ask? Well.

Some of the cards. I miscounted and made nearly 40 instead of only 30. 

It took nearly 3 weeks to just make the Xmas cards and some of the ornaments I had in mind. The advent calendar nearly missed the 1st of December, and we only managed to get the last of decorations in place about 10 minutes before the family were due to arrive on Xmas morning ... so it did not go according to plan.

The result of the 1st day of car boot fair shopping for materials for this insane endeavour!

As Rob was entirely un-reluctant to point out, this is because 'the plan' was freaking mental and totally over the top. He, however, has become accustomed to the totally over-ambitious nature of my plans and remains calm and helpful and reassuring and (oddly) optimistic for 99% right up until the moment where I lose my shit. Then he points out that he did suggest we took things a little less seriously, brings me a cup of coffee, and gets stuck in. Wonders occur. Things work out pretty much OK, and the world keeps spinning.

Stop making me pose for pictures!

Okay, I'll be cute for one more ...

In this particular context, the world kept spinning through the following workarounds:

• I realised 3 days before my dad's arrival that the presents would never be finished in time. Several were (and still are ... *blush*) near completion, but there just wasn't enough time to finish them all, or even some of them, properly. So we bought some presents were there was a shortfall. There was no angry mob accusing me of being a horrible consumer-driven spendthrift. I guess they must have been attacking someone else that day.
• The 17,000 unmade ornaments & decorations (which I had made in my mind and my Xmas Planning File) were not missed by anyone.
• There was still wayyyy too much food, even though some of it was cold (stupid vegetables) and some of it was nearly inedible (stupid homemade bread).
• There was enough chocolate to last until after my dad went back home in mid-Jan. Chocolate makes everyone much more malleable.
• I apologised profusely to those whose presents did not materialise and promised to deliver on completion.

This last bullet point is my explanation for the posts to follow over the next few weeks. I have decided not to post anything, or start any new projects, until I've completed this Christmas list. Some headway has been made and I can now start posting ... so bear with me! :) :)

The amazing Sharpie art of laineylamonto {imagesource}

Christmas Christmas Christmas!

Happy 1st of December, everyone!

My, it's been busy round these
parts lately. The pictures (to be randomly positioned by my ShoZu 'portable blogger' App, fingers crossed they don't make it look like I wrote this after drinking too many glasses of mulled wine!) were taken yesterday.

from left to right (or top to bottom, who knows?):

- 1st card for 2011, winging its way out the door!

- wide shot of the advent calendar

Grainy ... but I'm SO proud!

- close-up of one of the advent envelopes

I'm knackered. 34 DIY cards & 24 little envelopes later & I am DONE with paper crafting for a while. The idea was to use mostly recycled materials - so old Xmas gift tags, old wrapping paper, pizza menus, etc. I guess, in the end, it was 50/50 as I had to buy card blanks & pretty paper so the whole lot didn't look too much like a toddler's First Art Project.

Friends & family will be receiving their cards after they're posted this weekend (there's a lot of actual card-writing yet to be done, urg).

Happy 1st of December!!

Catching up Part 1 - Hallowe'en!

Hello lovelies,

This post might sound like the crazed ramblings of a madwoman, and um ... that's probably completely accurate because right now I'm feeling so COMPLETELY inspired & motivated and and and ... WOW.

Had to take my friend Rose to the airport this morning at the crack of sparrow's fart (intentionally mixed metaphor: crack of dawn & sparrow's fart, but ruder! hee hee) so got hom by 7:30 & decided to catch up on bloggy blogs. I have a self-imposed rule that I only read The Sew Weekly on a desktop computer, otherwise I miss out on so many of the lovely images via my RSS Reader. ANYWAY.

Oona took on my innocent challenge to produce Oona-fied work wear suitable to my OH SO boring work environment. Oona! Dudes. The number of girl crushes I have on sewing bloggers is phenomenal, but Oona is high up on the list :)

SO! Also inspired by a lovely comment from Zoe a few weeks back, here are some images of several projects I've been working on since my last installment...

The main focus of October was Hallowe'en. We LOVE Hallowe'en, and fancy dress is a big feature in our world for pretty much any occasion - so, let's face it, Hallowe'en is going to be a pretty big occasion. Because Rob has a beard now (and it looks so good on him :)), he tries to come up with costumes which enable le beard - hence Osama Bin Laden for his birthday in July.

Blessed are the meek.  

This time, he went for something a little more controversial: Zombie Jesus.

The very picture of zombified grace.

After my initial 'eek' moment, I though, 'Eh, well' and went ahead with modifying my self-drafted Osama tunic & troos-pattern into a Jesus-robe-thing pattern.  The robe was then made from two Ikea curtain offcuts from the charity shop, the toga-wrap-thing from a Primark sheet (it was impossible to find enough red fabric that wasn't new. Grrrr) and the trim was from a VERY lucky c/shop find - a bag full of upholstery trim for £1. Hello dumb-ass, wanna sell me some really expensive stuff for nothing? GREAT!!!

My favourite part was embroidering the sacred heart: I've always loved these images and this was so fun to do. Took AGES, but it killed lots of time commuting to/from Europe for work.

when the sun was still out at 6pm. *sniff sniff*

I'd decided to go with a Ghostbuster costume on the premise that it would be quick & easy: pair of cheap overalls & a vaccum cleaner strapped to my back, TA-DAAAA!

Yeah, right. When did 'quick & easy' EVER work in our house? So, instead it became this:

Embroidered Ghostbuster Badge for Pocket

Tracing Simplicity 5151 ... on pegboard????

I bought Simplicity 5151 on eBay while looking for a jumpsuit/overall pattern, which was scarce as hen's teeth then and as is to be found in abundance at ANY other time ... what's with that??? I was so excited when the pattern arrived that I didn't notice until the photo above was taken that the instructions in the envelope were for another pattern altogether. So, I winged it.

FYI: excluding the 3 garments I made in primary school needlework classes, this garment would represent my 8th (complete) garment. Eight. As in onetwothreefourfivesixsevenEIGHT. And no freaking instructions??? 

Thank god I read blogs. Honestly, this pattern was the bomb and gave me no grief whatsoever, it really was very straightforward. In the end, I only omitted the button placket because there wasn't time to sew it on over the centre front zip and make the pretty button holes. More on that in a sec. 

I finished the dress at approx 11:00 on the morning of the party, due to start at dusk. My dramatically-minded husband put that vague description on the invitation, so we really had no idea what time people would start turning up, and the house still needed to be decorated, AND I still had no proton pack. 

Enter chaos.

Proton Pack in Progress ... recognise any sewing items, folks?

MANY glue sticks later, the pack is ready to be sprayed black. 

We took this sucker outside and sprayed the heck out of it with - wait for it - Poundland-variety black matt car spray paint (seriously, £1! kicks ass).  Rob sacrificed an old backpack so that their straps could be glued onto the front of this tea tray-rubbish-glue gun confection, and that was it. The most fun EVER. 

Fast forward several bored guests (who arrived early, looking amazing only to find their hosts running around like lunatics trying to get Zombie Jesus' contact lenses stop moving around) to later in the evening and here are the proud results of the whole shebang: 

With 50p LED light and everything!!! 

The goggles only last an hour or so as they were way too flimsy ... but still cool :)

Who you gonna call? 

Last point to mention: we ran out of time to make an appropriate gun-handheld-thing to be attached to the proton pack ... so I got an old vacuum hose from some junk in the garage and wielded it at people incessantly for the rest of the evening. They weren't annoyed at all.

eeeee!!!! Mollie Makes!

Found - would you believe it?? - in Morissons.

48 Ways to style my home with Thrifty Finds? YES PLEASE. (case in point: green broth cup thing, 20p from a boot fair)

Thank you, Tilly, Karen & Dibs for the heads up ... more printed word love in the house. *beams happily*

(originally posted 12/07/2011)